The Delivery Man ~ My Screenplay

Here are some more treasures from my scrap book....






Instead of just complaining about porn movie direction, here's an example of how I would do it. It would be my ideal, that all of the footage prior to "standard porn movie cocksucking" would happen in 3 minutes max. Then you've got a whole hour for the other stuff. Remember, my esthetic is a strong distinction between players, none of this everyone getting naked and doing a dance number.

Here's the screenplay for the first 3 minutes:

Bobby, a plumpish, bespectacled clerk sits in a messy old office by himself, furtively looking at muscle magazines. If possible, include a ceiling fan in one of these shots. Short cut: He fingers his pants, a pale pastel, revealing nothing. Cut to his inner imagination. He goes into a porno theater. Cut to him at an empty gloryhole, desolate.

Fade to a handsome, rugged delivery man, yelling at someone in traffic. He gripes about having to take that asshole's delivery route, cause he's such a fuckhead, etc. Use fleeting glimpses of him, tease the viewer. Show his physique and bulge with flashes of him working. Show him taking a piss, but just from behind. Use a "peeping-tom" camera angle, peeking around a stall wall. It doesn't have to make sense.

He sees a slutty girl. Zoom on his crotch fading to his eyes closed, depicting his inner thoughts, with image of his hard cock getting a deep sucking. Show him from the cocksucker's point of view, looking down at the camera, and show him watching his cocksucker, but show only the lips. Inner thought shots should be dreamlike montages, maybe use old movie filters.

Back to the office. Show an old clock ticking, it's 3 minutes to five. Bobby's ready to punch out, his lunch box and bag are on the desk. Loudly, suddenly, Ethel, [get a real character for this: a "grotesque" as they say] the old secretary, sticks her head in the door and says: "Bobby, the delivery is late today. You're going to have to take it. I'll lock up the front on my way out." Her appearance is shocking, out of
place, very brief, and it sets up the whole "plot."

Bobby is petulant. Fade to his inner eye: show hot construction workers crowding into the bookstore, pacing restlessly outside the glory hole booth, one tapping his foot. Fade-out with close-up of tapping boot. Bobby wearily grabs a clipboard and trudges to the door.

At the end of the long hall, show the porn star in silhouette, backlit almost to white.

Prolong the approach by showing cuts of Bobby's changing expression. Use brief, glancing close-ups on the top's eyes looking directly into the camera. Close-up of Bobby's face looking at the man's pants in awe and yearning, cut to closer shots of the Talent. Cut to two-shot of him looking down at Bobby, who is nervously and exitedly trying not to stare at the man's crotch.

"Where do you want it?" His voice is deep, tough.

"Um, well, I guess it goes back in the stock room. It's this way." Bobby leads the way. Close-up of his out of shape ass as he walks, cut to close-up of the top's bemused expression.

Close-up of Bobby's face as he walks: He nervously sneaks near glances over his shoulder at the man walking behind him with the handtruck and crate. Sound track of creaking wooden floor and awkward silence, Bobby blushes.

Make it obvious when they pass the men's room. Mr. Delivery Man notes the sign on the door, sideways glance at the marshmellow walking in front of him.

Prolong this with a two-shot of them walking from behind, moving away from camera, with the men's room at frame-edge. Adjust lighting to show off the star's physique. He should be wearing Carrhart's or Levi's standard button-downs. Close-fitting work pants, comfortable fit [not absurdly tight], and a dark belt.

Cut to close-up of the handtruck being withdrawn from under the carton. Zoom out to two-shot of them in a nondescript, poorly lit room with shelves and boxes. Use a bare bulb in a wide tin cone as the only lighting. Show his readyness to leave, and impatience with Bobby. He hands him the signoff clipboard.

Bobby, confused by his puppy love horniness, is speechless, breathless. He clumsily signs the signature, hands it back. He realizes the encounter might be over; show his panic; then he gets an idea. He falls to his knees to read a label at the bottom of the crate, whipping off his glasses. Inches from his knee is the man's boot. Show a quick close-up of this.

Looking up at the star, he says: "I'm supposed to get the BHS number off the label." Now, on his knees, he can't help himself. When lowering his eyes from the man's eyes, he lingers a little longer on the substantial bulge in the man's pants.

Now, as he pretends to copy the number onto his clipboard, the guy says:

"Hey, you know there's something I've been wanting to ask you since I first saw you."

Bobby looks up at the man. "Oh? Yes?..."

Pornstar looking down right into camera:"You know where I could find a good cocksucker around here?"

Close-up profile of of Bobby: he gulps, smiles, looks up, then down, slackjawed. Now, half smiling, opening his mouth wide and openly ogling the man's cock, he says "I'm a good cocksucker" whispering the word "Sir" at the end, afraid to really say it aloud, looking up worshipfully. Slight zoom-out showing two-shot of Bobby's tongue-licking mouth and the Talent's hand fingering his stiffening penis in his pants.

Up-shot into the man's searingly handsome face: "Yeah, that's what I figured. I saw you and I thought to myself: "Yup, that boy's got "blowjob" written all over his face."

Close-up of him chuckling, montage this: he unbuckles, unzips, whips it out, and grabbing Bobby's head, puts it deep into his wide open mouth.

[end of first 3 minutes of film]

Now, standard porn movie cocksucking can begin. Move it along by montage, showing Bobby very soon mostly naked, maybe just socks. The Top wears a dark, sweat stained teeshirt that displays his muscles, and Bobby pushes it up occasionally to show the abs and pecs.

He never takes off his boots or pants, which never go below his knees. He should be really handsome, but scruffy, blue collar. Continue with camera shots showing his aft side, shoulders, buns, etc. Pan from these to close ups of Bobby swallowing the man's cock.

Use the questioning and interrupting techniques [see my other postings] and allow the Top to improvise, keeping the focus on his dick and the blowjob action.

Directors always want to extend a good thing, so segue with an abrupt close up of the Top looking down, saying: "Hey, you know what, I gotta take a piss." Fade to the bathroom door from before, fade to next scene, by the urinals.

Lather, rinse, repeat, that's how you fill an hour long DVD!

This is Lee, a guy I serviced regularly for almost 20 years.